


Destructive (HIATUS)

by 1dfreakme



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Abuse, College, Dark, Death, Depression, Drugs, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Explicit Sexual Content, Gang Violence, Love/Hate, M/M, Psychological Horror, Rape, Self Harm, Sex, Slash, Suspense
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-01-14
Updated: 2015-04-01
Packaged: 2018-03-07 14:00:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 19,270
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3175496
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/1dfreakme/pseuds/1dfreakme
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"If I wanted to, I could destroy everything."</p><p>*Mature content in early chapters and throughout story, first and last warning*</p><p>*heavy abuse in later chapters and the talk/use of drugs, first and last warning.*</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Destructive

**Author's Note:**

> It's Louis's first year college. He's ready for the changes, new experiences, and romances that he hears so much about. He wasn't at all ready for troubled Harry.

**de·struc·tive**

_/dəˈstrəktiv/_

causing great and irreparable harm or damage. 

 

"You're dancing with the devil being with me you know."

"Well, I've always kind of liked trouble."

"Trouble hasn't even begun, baby. You can still run; I'd understand."

"Harry, I'm in too deep to leave you now.


	2. College Time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> first chapterrrr. ENJOY!
> 
> (I'll review it later to fix any typos)

**Louis' POV**

I've been waiting for the first day of college all of my life and the day is finally here. 

"Niall wake up! We are off to college today!!!" I yell out in plain annoyance, receiving only a deadly glance and a groan from my best friend. "Seriously Niall, today is the day we move out and dorm! Aren't you excited?" 

It angered me that nothing I said was enough to force him out of bed, I run to my bathroom and fill up a nice bucket of water to throw over his head but I when I enter the room he's already up.

"Mate, I can't believe we start today." He says just as excited as I had been a few minutes ago and I roll my eyes, pouring the water into the tub before I start getting ready.

"You boys all packed?" My mom says as we sit at the table, ready to have our last breakfast at home for what may be a long time. I mean a few months to be exact, but that's a long time when you're used to home cooked meals.

"Yes we're all packed! I can't wait." I answer with a proud smile. School has always been important to me, so for anyone to understand how happy I am to get to college would be impossible.

"I'm just happy we have apartment suits, not just tiny dorms, ya know?" Niall adds on and I nod.

"I just wonder how our other roommates are gonna be like." I add on.

"Who cares, Louis? We don't even ever have to see them, we all have our own room and bathroom, we only have to share the bathroom and kitchen. It's perfect"

"Yeah, I guess you're right." I mumble while skimming through our list of roommates. Hm, Zayn Malik, and Harry Styles. Seems like nice boys. 

I shake myself from the anxious thoughts as I hug my mom bye once we're finally all set to go.

"Love you, mom. I'll call as soon as we get there. Promise."

The drive was long, the school was far but I think it was my nervousness and excitement that made me impatient.

Once we're finally in the parking lot, Niall and I give each other looks that speak volumes. Since I met Niall in the second grade, we've been best friends, we promised that this day would come for the both of us, and here we are together. 

We're the first of the roommates to show up and we're grateful. We pick the bedrooms right next to each other and immediately start to make the place a little more homely. 

About an hour later someone else walks into the apartment. Wow, he's handsome. His olive skin tone and beautiful eyes makes me instantly jealous.

"Hey guys.." He trailed off, almost surprised that he wasn't first.

"Hi, I'm Louis and this Niall." We both smile.

"Nice. I'm Zayn." He smiles warmly, looking around the apartment.

"You've started decorating I see." He laughs.

I like Zayn, there's an asshole edge about him, but he seems very nice, so I don't mind too much.

We all cook food and talk about our lives back home and at this moment I'm so happy that I get to live with these people for a while.

"It's 5pm and our last roommate still isn't here yet." Niall laughs while sipping more of his beer.

Like clockwork we see the door open and two men walk inside with luggage and ask which room was the free room, we all point to our left and they walk inside bringing the luggage. We give each other questioning looks until we see a much younger man walk into the room, he was around our age no doubt, so I assumed he was the roommate. Before I could even introduce myself to this handsome man with wavy hair and gorgeous eyes he walks straight into his room, ignoring all of us. 

"Rude." I mumble to the guys as they nod their head agreeing with me. 

"What a fucking asshole he is." Zayn laughs.

About two hours later two men walk out leaving his room completely furnished and make their way to the front door without a word. By this time we're all drunk from the beers we've managed to force down while getting to know each other. Something in me felt our other roommate was just shy.

"Guys, I'm gonna knock on his door and see if he wants to hangout with us." I whisper and they give me weird looks as if it's a bad idea, but they nod anyway.

I bring myself to stand on wobbly legs, ignoring the fact the all I wanted to do was sit back down. I knock his door and wait.

Within seconds it swings open with force as he stares at me, clueless.

"Yeah?" He says in a pretty harsh tone; his voice is deep and raspy and it's kind of scary but I ignore it.

"Um, hi. I'm Louis. I wanted to know if you maybe wanted to sit with us and hangout for a bit. We've cooked dinner and we're just getting to know each other and we have liquor to make it less awkward." I laugh towards the end to make a little less awkward but he doesn't. He just stares.

"No." He states bluntly.

"No? Um- okay. I mean, we all just- why are you being an asshole?" I snap. I was the nicest person to everyone but one thing I wasn't nice about was an attitude, I can be mean just as well.

He raised his eyebrows and let out a loud sigh.

"Did you just call me an asshole within the first 2 minutes of meeting me?" He asked in a monotone voice.

He's right, I seemed like an asshole already. I mean, he didn't have to hangout with us and it was wrong for me to call him asshole just because he didn't want to. Just when I was about to apologize I look back at Harry to see his eyes trailing up and down my body. I awkwardly shift in a way that signals I'm aware of his staring. He didn't seem to care as he slowly and sexily brought his eyes back to mine.

"Sorry. F-for calling you an asshole, I though you were just being mean- and I-"

"It's okay." He cut me off before closing the door in my face.

I walk back into the living room and drop onto the couch.

"So...?" Zayn asks with an amused expression, more than likely hearing the commotion that went on moments ago.

"Let's just say he's more of a loner kind of guy." I exhale deeply before leaning back into the couch.

"It's going to be an interesting year."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I've deleted two other fanfics because I felt like people weren't interested, because, they didn't leave kudos or comments and I started to feel like I was wasting my time. I am actually so excited to write this because bad Harry is sexy af and Larry is sexy af soooo. haha. Let me know what you think.


	3. Dominance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the feedback to those who bothered. I have so many plans for this story I felt like I couldn't wait to post it, soo here's the next chapter :D
> 
> (I proof read like 3 times so let's pray there are no typos lol)

**Louis' POV**

 

I wake up the next morning with no hangover, and I'm thankful. Classes aren't for another two days so I can actually enjoy my free time.

I force myself out of bed to see Zayn and Niall with someone new in our kitchen.

"Morning?" I giggle walking to the table and making myself a plate of breakfast.

"Morning, Lou! This is Liam, he and I went to high school together, had no idea he was coming to this college." Zayn beams, it brings me joy to see him so happy.

"Nice to meet you, Louis. Yeah I'm so happy to see Zayn here, I had zero friends just yesterday." He laughs, I can tell I'm gonna like him already.

We continue laughing and telling stories from our days back home when Harry walks into the kitchen, God he's hot. He's wearing black jeans with really nice black shoes and a leather jacket, there's a beanie covering his loose waves that I fell in love with yesterday. He's on the phone when opens up the fridge and grabs a small cartoon of orange juice, that I bought. The nerve of him.

"Morning to you too sunshine-"

"I'm on the phone." He snaps at me.

"Sorry." I whisper. I ignore the glaring looks from everyone and I watch as Zayn's jaw locked in fury, but we all stay quiet.

Harry takes his phone call inside his room and it was if a dark cloud left the room with him.

"He's an asshole" Liam laughs, instantly bringing back the positive energy Harry tore away the moment he stepped into the kitchen.

After Zayn, Niall, and I shower we decide we all should explore our new town along with Liam.

"Should I invite Harry?" I ask.

"No, of course not!" Niall spits angrily.

"Where am I not invited to?" Harry asks as he comes out from his room, shutting it tight behind him.

"Um, I was gonna see if you wanted to come out for a drive but Niall said no." I say honestly.

I hear Niall's breathe hitch and he nearly chokes.

"Well, I meant no because, you probably have so much to do. You seem like a busy guy." Niall adds, he was the best ass kisser, that was for sure.

"Lucky for you, I actually don't have much to do today, so I'd love to come." He adds with a smirk keeping his eyes intently on me.

I can see the happiness in everyone drain when they hear Harry accept the offer he was actually never given.

We all step outside and begin to walk over to Zayn's car when Harry stops us and tells us we'll be taking his car instead.

"Nice car, lad." Liam says as we approach his large black hummer with tinted windows. 

Harry ignores him but Liam doesn't seem to mind, he's still obsessing over Harry's car.

"I grew up here so I can show you guys around." Harry whispers, it was meant for everyone to hear but his eyes are on mine only, once again.

I can't help but be so curious about him, it's obvious he's hiding something.

"Do you have lotion?" I randomly speak up checking around his car, while he he stares bewildered at me.

"What are you doing?" He asks in an angry tone. 

"Looking for lotion." I reply before yanking on his glove compartment and instantly squirming at the large gun that took up most of the room in the tiny space.

"What the fuck is your problem?" Harry yelled loud enough for the rest of the car to stop the conversations they were having. 

"Sorry, I was just- I- I didn't know." I apologize.

He kept his eyes on me for a little while longer before turning the car around.

"What are you doing?" I ask when I notice we're on the same road we began on.

"I'm taking everyone back to the dorms." He states bluntly. "You're fucking nosey and annoying" he continues.

Ouch.. Luckily the other guys didn't hear as they began to plan where we would go using Zayn's car.

When we pulled up to campus, Harry didn't bother saying goodbye to anyone, they didn't seem to mind either. As I was about to step out of the car, Harry grabs my arm.

"You're staying with me." He states.

I want to stand my ground and tell him I refuse to go with him, but something in me wants to stay with him.

"Come on Lou!" Niall yells from the parking lot.

"You guys go ahead, I'm gonna stay with Harry for a bit." I reply back. I get wide eyed looks from the three of them but once again they nod, and prepare for their departure.

"Why do you have a gun?" I ask about 10 minutes into the car ride. 

"Protection." He answers simply.

"Yeah, but from what?"

"Enemies, Louis. I have a gun because many people don't like me and I need to be prepared for anything, I have many guns." He smiles wickedly at me.

I find myself smiling back before shaking myself out of it and changing my focus to the trees outside.

"Why do you have enemies?" I ask out of curiosity.

"Because people don't like gang leaders, Louis." He states dryly, clearly annoyed of my questions. I hope he doesn't expect me to stop after he just admitted that he was a criminal.

I feel my chest tighten as I suddenly feel uncomfortable.

"Gang? Leader?"

"Yes." He replies with his eyes glued to the road.

"No more questions, not now at least." He finishes.

The day with Harry wasn't half as bad as I thought it would be. He didn't give me a say in what we did and where we went but he was actually nice. 

When we pulled up to the dorms he walked over to my side and opened the door for me, helping me out of the large seat and safely onto the ground.

"Thanks." I say, he just nods.

As we walk into our suite we are both hit with the smell of weed, alcohol, and sweaty people.

"What the fuck." I whisper, looking over to Harry only to see a small smile on his face. 

"Let's get a drink." He says pulling me by my elbow into the kitchen. I can tell by his roughness and his way of speaking down to people that he's used to being in charge of everything.

We're about three drinks in and I can't believe Harry and I are laughing together like actual friends.

"Let's dance." He slurs into the side of my neck, missing my ear completely. I laugh and pull him towards the living room when he pulls me back to him and walks further into the kitchen where we can't be seen. 

I find it so awkward that he can stare at me right in the eyes without wanting to look away, I feel my cheeks turn red as I glance to the floor but he takes one large step towards me, lifting my chin to stare at him then placing his hands on my hips and moving his hips toward mine to go along with the music. I feel my breathe speed up the more he presses against me.

"Feels good?" He deeply whispers to me, pushing my back against the kitchen wall and pressing even harder against my front. He lifts my legs and I wrap them around his waist, just like he wanted me to. I almost lose it when he starts rolling his hips directly onto mine, creating the perfect friction on our fronts. 

"You're so cute." He whispers to me, leaving kisses all over my face while he continues to to rub against me. I watch as he unbuttons his jeans and pulls them down to his thighs before doing to the same to me. He looks back up at me and continues where we left off before, my cock firmly against his while he rocks his hips back and forth.

"Let's go to my room." He mumbles with with his bottom lip between my teeth.

He gives me one last kiss before pulling me into his room.

I wake up in the morning with a horrible hangover, I'm not so lucky as I was yesterday. I look around the room and notice that I was in my own room. Confused, I get out of bed walk over to Harry's room, slowly knocking on the door. No answer.

"He's at the hospital." Niall speaks up behind me, almost giving me the heart attack of my life.

"Why?" I ask, trying not to sound as scared as I actually was. 

"He got jumped, you missed it, like 7 guys walked up in here and gave him the ass whooping of his life. Kind of not fair since he was drunk off his ass. You don't remember? You were crying and begging to go to the hospital, I had to put you in your bed. You like him don't you?" He smirks.

"He was jumped?"

"He's fine, he's just getting stitches. I wouldn't get to close to him, Louis. Those guys looked like bad asses yesterday. He must be involved with some crazy shit. I'm serious."

I was always bad at taking good advice; and at this moment the last thing I wanted to do was stay away from him. I wanted him, dangerous or not I wanted Harry Styles.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooo how was it? Not much smut at all but it's still early. You guys won't have to wait too long I promise. The drama and craziness that's about to start, ugh I can't wait. I only updated so fast because of the feedback and excitement so leave comments, kudos, and bookmark it if you like it! Thanks for reading (:


	4. He's Kind of Sweet in a Weird Way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quick update because the feedback was pretty good (:
> 
> Just thought I should I should let you all know that this fanfic is not one of those "bad boys turn good", it's more of a "bad guy gets worse" which is why I feel it's important to start off a little slow so it doesn't rush, and because I want you all to get to know the personalities of everyone. 
> 
> I swear I proof read. Kay enjoy!!

**Louis' POV**

I spent my the rest of my morning waiting for Harry to come back to the suite from the hospital, and I was thankful to finally hear the door open with a loud shut which automatically made me assume it was him.

"Hey, how are you feeling?" I ask as I meet him at the front door. He looks cranky, exhausted even. His hair is swept over his face and his pout makes him looks much younger than he is.

"Fine." He finally answers rudely, giving me a questioning look as if I shouldn't be asking, and he's right, I have no idea why I care so much.

"About last night-"

"I don't remember anything about last night."

"Oh." Ouch. 

I try to come up with something to say but nothing comes out. I'm embarrassed, I keep trying to be nice but he keeps being angry with me. I'm even more embarrassed that I'm the one the who actually doesn't remember what happened last night and he obviously just doesn't want to talk about it.

After an uneasy moment of silence he walks off to his room and closes the door behind him.

It was finally dinner time and the guys and I decide to order pizza.

"Harry! There's pizza and beer here if you want some!" Niall yells from the table we all sat at, in an attempt to get Harry out of the room and actually hanging out with us for once.

A few minutes later he walks out in black sweatpants riding low on his hips, no t shirt covering his tattooed muscled chest and his long hair in a bun. For once he looked... Comfortable, and definitely not as much of a hard ass he portrayed himself these past few days.

"Okay we're playing Never Have I Ever, who's down?" Zayn asks in a drunken slur, once our pizzas are devoured and our 30 pack of beer is half way done.

"Okay, never have I ever...." He trails off, rubbing his hands over the hair on his chin in concentration before he continued, "did drugs." He laughs.

"Cornyyyy" Niall laughs, putting one of his five fingers down, signaling that he's indeed done some sort of drug at least once.

I keep all five of my fingers up and look over to Harry to see that he too, has one of his fingers down, telling us that he's also done drugs.

"Liam, your turn to ask a question." Zayn says simply.

"Kay um... Never have I ever.... Took advantage of someone, in any way possible." He says confidently.

Zayn drops his head in shame as he lowers a finger; I look at Niall as he eyes everyone while keeping his fingers up, and then I look at Harry who's already staring back, it was at that moment that he dropped his finger and I could've sworn I saw him smirk. I look away in an instant as we continue to play the game. I avoided eye contact with him until the end of the game.

Once everyone's in their own rooms I sneakily knock on Harry's door, ready to demand to know what that sneaky shit from earlier was about. He opens it slowly eyeing me up and down.

"What?" He asks with a deep voice.

"Did you rape me yesterday while I was drunk? Were you referring to me when they asked if we ever took advantage of someone, and you put your finger down?" I question him in a whisper.

"Do I look like the kind of guy who needs to rape someone to get ass, Louis?" He leans against the door frame looking down at me intimidatingly.

"I- I just-" I cut myself off, when I notice for the first time, the stitches he has on his eyebrow. I pick my hand up gently raising it near the area. He flinches softly, but he doesn't move, he just stares at me. 

"Stop." He says softly, using his own fingers to pull mine away from his face, I'm confused when he continues holding onto my hand, clasping them together down at our waists. He pulls me a little closer to him letting go of our intertwined fingers and holding onto my hips, bringing his face to rest in the curve of my neck.

"I wanted to have sex with you last night, but you were getting a little sloppy, so I knew you were too drunk." He chuckled deeply into my skin, and I smiled, he's so nice when he wants to be, in a weird way I suppose.

I don't answer, but I assume I don't need to.

"Come sleep with me tonight." He finally demands.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do all think of the characters so far? Does anyone else wants to know what Zayn's hiding or nah lol. Okay well more feedback=longer/faster updates sooo. 
> 
> Hope you're enjoying! I can't wait to really start getting into all the drama. (:


	5. Don't Lick, Just Suck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Double updateeeee.

**Louis' POV**

 

He guides me into his room and it's the first time I've been in here. It's smells just as good as he does and it's as dark as I'd imagine he is.

"You nervous?" He asks. Even in the dark I can see his light eyes gazing into mine, and it does scare me a little. I'll never understand what I find so intimidating about this man.

"A little." I breathe out.

"I'll take care of you." He whispers with his lips against mine within seconds. 

He pushes me back onto the bed before climbing on top of me placing himself between my legs and grinding himself hardly onto my cock. I suck in a deep breathe breathe and he smiles.

"Did I ever tell you that you're really cute, like, an innocent cute." He says while leaving trails of kisses from neck to my chest slowly sucking on each of my nipples leaving me unable to answer.

He leans up standing on his knees undoing his belt and leaving his jeans and boxers to rest at his thighs.

Oh no.

"Suck me." He pants with the same smile he held earlier, pulling me by my hair softly until my lips touch his dick.

I hesitate and I hear him exhale loudly, I roll my eyes at his eagerness and slowly place him between my lips.

"Don't lick, just suck." He moans. I follow instructions, sucking as much as I could and using my hand for what couldn't fit in my mouth, I prayed he wouldn't be disappointed, he was just far too thick and too long. Moments later he roughly grabs each side of my head and begins fucking my mouth.

"Fuck. That's how you suck dick, Louis." He moans loudly. He doesn't care that I'm gagging and chocking and drooling all around his cock. Within seconds I feel him release inside of my mouth and he holds me there forcing me to swallow his cum.

Once he's finished he pulls his boxers back up and takes his pants off the rest of the way before he lies down far away from me and facing the wall.

"I thought we were gonna have sex." I say stupidly; if I could hit myself without looking crazy, I would.

"I planned on it, then I could tell you were a virgin, consider it... Me being nice, I guess." He says bluntly without looking at me.

"Why were you jumped?" I ask randomly. He sighs loudly and it's now that I can tell I'm annoying him, not that I really care.

"Because, people are pussies and they jump others when they can't beat them alone." He whispers.

"No. I mean, why do they hate you enough to jump you?"

He turns around to face me with a curious look, his eyebrows furrowed in concentration.

"Why do you care so much?" He asks.

"I just want to know-"

"You just want to be nosy. I hate nosy people." He cuts me off with a deep frown.

"I just want to know about you, that's all." I say honestly, hurt that he's back to being rude again already. 

I watch as his angry face softens. 

"There's not much to know.." He trails off.

"Well, what do you do for fun?" I ask. I find myself genuinely interested to know things about him.

"Things that I'm sure you wouldn't find very fun, Lou." He laughs, but I can tell he's serious.

"Did you just make up a nickname for me?" I smile.

"What, Lou? Isn't that the obvious short name for Louis? I didn't even notice- I actually-"

"I'm kidding." I say in a flat tone. 

I find myself moving closer to him until my head is under his chin and my legs are tangled with his own. I'm beyond happy when he doesn't move away from me; instead, I feel him wrap his arms around my smaller body.

"You know, I always find it that people like who they think someone is more then who a person actually is." I frown as he confuses me.

"What?" I ask.

"You like me because of what you'd like to think of me, I don't think you'll like me once you actually get to know me, Louis." He confesses.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> short.. But I did just post a chapter like 12 hours ago. :D 
> 
> Also, I work.. A lot, and school starts back up this week sooo I'm thinking of updating two days a week maybe? I'll keep you all posted. thanks for reading, please continue to leave kudos and comments, it's makes my day (:


	6. Relationships

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going to re read this tomorrow and possible make changes and check for any errors that I missed before its 4:30 in the morning and I'm tired. Lol
> 
> Enjoy!! I kind of think its a long chapter.

**Louis' POV**

The first day of classes had been going by agonizingly slow. Usually I'm excited to learn but lately my mind has been elsewhere.

I turn my head to the direction of the door when someone walks in 40 minutes late to our 2 hour lecture.

My eyes light up when I see that it's Harry and Niall, I had no clue they'd be in the same class as me.

"Thanks for finally joining us, next time you decide to be an hour late, don't show up." Our professor says with a slight attitude, only having just spoke about how much he hated when people walked into class late.

Niall spends a few minutes apologizing while Harry locks eyes with me and begins walking towards my direction before taking a seat right next to me.

"Morning." He smiles.

"Hi." I whisper shyly.

"Just last night you had a mouthful of my cock and now you're acting shy?" He says with in a low voice.

Not low enough I realize when the boy seated on the other side of me quickly grabs his books and skips to another seat closer to the front. Harry chuckles while my face turns red.

"That's not funny, asshole." I say through clenched teeth.

"What the fuck did you just call me?" He asks. Completely making a 180 degree turn in moods.

"I called you- never mind." I whisper, a little scared if I'm honest.

"That's exactly what I thought." He replies, before leaning back into his chair and paying attention to the lecture we've already missed most of.

I shouldn't feel bad for calling him an asshole, but I do; and he stills look upset with me. I bring my hand over to his knee as slowly as possible trying to get his attention.  
He ignores me until my fingers reaches for his. I place my hand inside his and wait for his reaction, but, nothing happens.

Instead of forcefully snatching his hand from mine, he squeezes it. I can't hide the smile on my face and I turn to look at him to see he's wearing the same smile as well.

I was more than glad that, that was my last class of the day. Ironically enough, me and the guys all walk into the suite within 10 minutes of one another.

Harry and I walk in last, I was talking to him about how much I missed my parents and he just listened, he didn't mention his family nor how much he missed them; but I didn't question him. Once we were inside, Harry walked straight into his room as if we weren't even speaking a minute before.

"I fucking hate my professor, I need to drop that class today or I'm gonna lose my mind. What's up Lou." Zayn says all at once.

"Hey Zayn. Hey guys." I smile. "So I'm guessing class didn't go so well for you?" I continue while laughing and getting an angry stare in return from Zayn.

"I hated it." He said motioning a gun to his head with his fingers.

"Well I loved mine! So how the fuck are we celebrating!" Liam cheers.

"I think Louis and Harry loved class too, didn't you, Lou?" Niall says with a smirk.

I widen my eyes at Niall and quickly act as though I don't know what he was talking about. Luckily, no one questions it. Instead, they grab their never ending stash of liquor and place it on our kitchen table.

"Louis go tell Harry to come out and have a drink with us." Liam says casually setting up the table with cups.

I give him 'the I don't want to' look but I contradict myself by nearly tumbling out of my chair to head to his room.

I knock once quickly before walking right in on him while he was changing his clothes.

"Why do you always find yourself in here, Louis?" He says with his back away from me, with nothing but jeans riding dangerously low on his hips.

"Fuck." I whisper softly and he turns his head towards me.

"What?" He asks with a confused look on his face.

"N-nothing. They-um- they wanna know if you wanna drink."

"Is that all you guys do? Drink?" He asks while shaking his head.

"You're right- it is kind of corny isn't it?" I ask.

"I have somewhere to go tonight so- no. I can't drink with you guys tonight." He says simply, completely disregarding what I asked him.

"Where you going?" I find myself questioning him before I could even stop it.

He gives me a look of discomfort. 

"Out. Don't question me. Especially about my whereabouts. Understood?" He finishes.

"Okay." I bite back. He glances at me giving me a warning look and I quickly apologize for raising my voice. 

Two hours later, I find myself drunk at the kitchen table with the rest of the boys while they tell more stories about their lives back home.

"Be right back." I say, not that they're even listening. I walk through the living room and start heading to my room when my eyes scan over Harry's cracked door.

"A little snooping wouldn't hurt." I think to myself while sneakily entering his room and immediately rummaging through his drawers to find answers to questions I really didn't have. I couldn't find much.

"Secretive bastard." I mumble. I try not to be sloppy when I begin going through his closet, but when I'm not sober, I'm not careful.

"Shit." I jump back when my hand pulls out a heavy silver gun from his jacket pocket. It takes me a few seconds to catch my breathe but when I do, I carefully place the gun back in there. I move on to the next few articles of clothing and find nothing. When I finally give up, I step back and bump into his boxes of shoes. I begin mentally cursing myself when the box on top fell, but my heart stops when 100 syringes fall out of it. The liquor feels as though it might come back up any moment when I see that some of those needles are in fact empty. 

"What the fuck?" I hear a voice whisper.

I feel my heart beat so hard in my chest that I thought it might explode at that very second, but it calms down once I realize it was only Niall.

"Shit- you scared me. Please help me before he comes back." I frantically find myself saying.

"He needs you to pick him. That's why I was looking for you.. He called your phone so I answered, hope you don't mind. Zayn said you can take his car." He says with an uneasy voice. I can already tell he has questions for me but he'll wait for the most ridiculous times to ask them, that's just how he is. 

"Where is he?"

"Address is on the table. I'll clean this up, you go get him."

That's all I need to hear before I run past him and into the kitchen for Zayn's car keys and the address. I tell myself that it's not a good idea to drive and that I shouldn't bother, but something tells me that if Harry of all people needs me; I should probably be there.

The drive takes no more than 15 minutes and I pull up to a crowd of 20, Harry included.

I step out of the car, immediately afraid of what I've just walked into.

"H-hi. I just need to bring him home. If you wouldn't mind- maybe, leaving him alone? I-"

"What?" One of the men cuts me off and they all begin dying of laughter.

"Harry, he thinks we're gonna jump you." A guy with dark jeans, a white shirt and buzz cut says with eyes in my direction. They all begin laughing but Harry stays silent. He's seated on the curb with his arms wrapped around his knees and his head down to avoid anyone from seeing his face.

"Imagine that, being able to jump the same man that gives us orders." He continues before laughing a little more.

"Harry's too fucked up, that's all. He wanted to call you and have you pick him up." Another man speaks up. He seems much nicer than the last.

It's not until then that it clicks to me that this is part of the gang that Harry's in charge of. I want to ask them to make sure but I've heard many bad things about asking gangs about their business when you're not in it.

"I'll just bring him home, then." I say before leaning down and helping Harry to his feet. He's much heavier than I can handle but I appreciate him trying to carry his own weight, even if he's failing miserably.

Once we begin driving back to the dorms, I feel a relief wash over me that we're away from those creeps, even if they do happen to be Harry's friend- or gang.

"Please hurry." He mumbles with his head in his hands.

"Trying." I respond, smiling but I try to hide it from him so he won't become annoyed; he's just really adorable tonight, he'd hate to hear that though.

I continue driving finally on the street of the school when Harry opens the car door and begins throwing up outside of it.

"Jesus Harry. We're almost there."

"Shut up and keep driving!" He yells. 

"I'm doing you a favor you fucking pig!" I lash back out, clearly the liquor speaking in place for me. I watch as he wipes his mouth with a napkin before throwing it out of the window just before bringing that same hand to slap me across the face.

"I am not that fucked up that I won't put you in your place." He says with a straight face and watery eyes from puking only moments before. I begin crying and I can't tell if it's because of the pain, or the liquor causing me to be emotional but at this moment I want to be as far away from him as possible.

Nonetheless, I still help him into the elevator, up to our suite, and even into his bedroom. He goes straight into the shower for an hour. 

"Lou." He whispers to me from his bedroom.

"What?" I whisper, desperately trying not to wake up the boys in their rooms.

"Come lay with me.." He demands. 

I want to tell him no. Tell him that he needs to stop telling me to do things and start asking. But I don't tell him anything, instead, I nod my head and walk with him into his bedroom.

He fell onto his bed, pulling me down with him.

"I'm not even going to lie, I am still so fucked up." He says, but he doesn't laugh, it's as if he's disappointed about it.

"So what? You had fun." I whisper into his chest with my arms loose around his torso.

"Letting your guard down and becoming stupid is not fun, Louis." He sternly scolded.

"Noted." I respond with an eye roll that I'm thankful he can't see.

"21 questions?" I ask.

"What's that?" He questions. It's a shame that he's not involved with anything people our age would usually be into.

"Well, we just ask each other questions, personal questions actually. No lying." I smile.

"Fine." He agrees. 

"Why are you so bipolar?" I waste no time asking. I'm surprised when he laughs instead of getting angry.

"I'm not bi polar; At all. I'm just- I expect a lot, I guess. I don't know why I'm like that to be honest." He finally admits.

"Where are your parents?" I ask.

"Not around." He answered. I have strong feeling he doesn't want to be asked about his parents any longer.

"Do you think there's a chance we'd eventually be together?" I slide the question in just as fast as the others. He loosens his grip a bit before leaning down to look at me.

"I knew that question was coming." He sighed. "Louis, that wouldn't be a good idea." He explained.

"Why?" I whined while wrapping my legs around his waist and moving impossibly closer to him.

"Because that wouldn't be safe for you. Because I have a gang to run. Because you can't handle me now. Because I would ruin your life. It wouldn't work." He deeply whispered.

"Let's try." I whisper, biting his lip and playfully tugging it. He smiles, bringing his hand to my cheek and leaving it there.

"I am trying to do what's best for someone, for once in my life; and you won't let me." He weakly smiled. 

"I happen to think we'd balance each other out." I giggle trying to get him to laugh, and it works.

"Yeah because that's been working so well." He laughs before silencing himself, "Promise you won't give up when I'm not at my best? Because I'm shitty 90% of the time but, if you're willing to try with me then-"

"Calm down Harry." I laugh before giving him a kiss on his lips. Our first real kiss I realize.

"You're dancing with the devil being with me you know." He whispers with his lips still against mine.

"Well I've always kind of liked trouble."

"Trouble hasn't even begun, baby. You can still run; I'd understand." He's trying to be funny but I can hear from his tone just how serious he is.

"Harry, I'm in too deep to leave you now."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, sorry for any typos. I'm so fucking tired, I'm sure I missed something in there, I will edit!
> 
> So, let's get this show on the road (: okay, the story is really about to take twists and turns and I feel I should tell you that you should not take the warnings lightly. There will be a lot of abuse, drugs, and sex related things in this story so you were warned again haha.
> 
> Thanks for the feedback please keep it coming, seriously pushes me to update so much faster. Also, if you guys want a playlist that goes along with the story to read, let me knoww.


	7. Caught.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> enjoy!

**Louis' POV**

I wake up the next morning ecstatic when I'm greeted with a snoring curly headed boy with his head resting in my hair and his arm wrapped around me tightly. He didn't leave- I mean, even if he could.. Where would he go? This is his room.

"Morning." He speaks with a raspy voice after I shuffle beneath him.

"Good morning." I smile widely. "I was thinking, maybe we could hit a movie or something? I mean, after our classes are finished."

"Can we put a rain check on that? I have to meet with my guys to discuss a few things." He trails off, clearly not wanting to tell me what those things are.

"Like what?" I ask with no shame. If he wants to make this work he's going to need to be honest with me.

"What did I tell you about asking me of my whereabouts?" He says with a grin while stretching his back and climbing off of the bed to grab his shower stuff.

"I just want to get to know you, that's all." I answer honestly.

"So let's start in the shower then? There's a lot of things we can figure out about each other there?" He says with a wink.

"No. Not until you stop hiding things." I speak up and watch his widen.

"Whatever." He snarls with an amused grin.

I leave his room quietly, not wanting the other boys to see but I am instantly greeted with three pair of eyes staring at me from our shared living room.

"Oh. That's where you were." Zayn laughs along with the other boys and I feel my skin turn red.

"So?" I reply back too quickly before hurrying to my room and shutting the door behind me, only to here it not shut, indicating someone was right behind me.

"Tell me you're not seeing him, Louis?" Niall asks with a flat tone. Only, he's not asking.

"And if I am?" I reply back. I didn't mean to sound so sassy, but he was always trying to tell me what to do, I never liked that about him.

"Excuse me? The biggest jackass in the world wants to pound you and you're jumping on it, the first chance you get?" He yells angrily.

"What? Niall, don't speak to me like that!" I yell back, furious he seems to be implying the worst about his best friend of years.

"You always go for the bad guys; then when they're finished with you, you run back to me to me to pick up the pieces." He spits out seeming surprised he even said it.

"Fuck you and get out." I mumble, just loud enough for him to hear, and he does.

At this point I choose to skip class; Niall ruined my entire mood and Harry isn't even going to be here to make me feel better.

There's suddenly a knock at my door.

"Speaking of the devil." I whisper, before Harry walks in and sits on my bed.

"I'll be back later, and we can watch movies or do whatever you want to do. Don't be mad, okay?" He says.

"Can I come?" I ask suddenly.

"Absolutely not. You will never be around them. Consider last night the first and last. I don't want you involved with that."

"With what exactly." I push. He gives me stern look and I quickly tell him never mind.

He walks out of the door and I run to Zayn seconds after.

"Can I borrow your car?" I ask him.

"Um-sure." He says with a curious look, but he gives me the keys without questions.

"Great! I'll keep her safe." I smile before hurrying to the parking lot.

"I have got to get my own car." I groan to myself before getting into the car just before seeing the man I had plans following get ready to pull off. Harry.

He drives along the narrow street that seemed to go nowhere but I followed behind him anyway. I was so curious to know exactly what he was doing that was so crazy that I couldn't come along. 

After a 20 minute drive he pulls into the driveway of a small beige house. I see a crowd of 15 or so, in front of it, all dressed in black jeans and black v necks. They all stand to their feet to greet Harry; I choose to stay at the corner on the opposite street and turn the car off.

They talk for hours, and I swear I felt myself dose off a few times, is this all they do? My body began to shake as the temperature dropped the later it got, it was only 5pm and the darkness already took over, I hate that winter is so close. Strangely enough, I hadn't noticed the two black trucks on the opposite street of me, right next to my car, but they seemed to notice me. I quickly whip my head away from them, hoping they weren't apart of Harry's crew on the lookout for sneaky people like myself. A knock on the other side of my window nearly takes the air out of me, It's a shame I scare so easily. 

I take a nervous glance to my right to be met with a person in a mask and gun pointed right at me.

"Get out of the car, pretty boy." He says loud enough for me to hear. I try as fast as I could to turn the car on but he came closer and I heard a click that assumed was the gun so I stopped, immediately.

"Please." I whisper with tears filling my eyes.

"Get out!" He yells this time. At that moment, he's loud enough to get the attention of Harry and the others and I knew from that moment that they weren't together.

I get out of the car facing the man so that no one else would see me.

"I'm not sure what you want-" I try but he cuts me off.

"Shut the fuck up, I didn't ask you to speak." He says through his mask.

"Sebastien! What the fuck are you doing over here?" Harry roars so loudly the others hurry in the car, leaving the man named Sebastien alone with his gun pointed solely at me. 

"How did you know it was m- never mind. I think I have something that belongs to you. You get it back, when I get my money." He smirks, throwing me to the floor in front of him with the gun still pointed at me, so Harry is able to see me in this condition. I look up at him and his face drops.

He opens his mouth to speak but he closes it again.

"Fine." He says defeatedly. He avoids eye contact with me before continuing, "get him his money." He says to one of his guys.

"I knew you'd make the right decision, Harry." Sebastien smirks bending down to help me up when a bullet sounds in the air.

In seconds I'm crippled by a heavy weight falling over me. The next moment, the limp body of Sebastien is thrown off of me and Harry is above me with the angriest expression I've ever seen as he wipes drops of blood from his face with his sleeve, leaving his other hand that held a gun by his side. He crouches down so he's looking me directly in my eyes, making sure that I'm okay; once he sees that I am, in fact, okay; he's ready to snap.

"What the fuck did I tell you about minding your fucking business?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys for your wonderful comments. It's so nice to see that people actually Like it, seriously (: 
> 
> Keep it up because I love reading it, and I only updated because you guys are showing me that you're really enjoying it! Thank you, lovelies.
> 
> Okay really quick two questions.
> 
> Would you guys like chapters from Harry's POV or do you like not really knowing exactly what he's thinking?!
> 
> Okay, I'm gonna update tomorrow night again because you're all perfect, byeeee. (:


	8. First Time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My writing can get really dirty, I warned ya.
> 
> Sorry about any typos in advance.

**Louis' POV**

The car ride back to campus is silent. Harry is seated in the drivers seat of Zayn's car and has yet to even look at me. I know I shouldn't have followed him, but he just killed someone, I think he's the one with explaining to do. So I decide to ask him.

"So are you going to tell me-" before I can finish my question he's putting the car in park flying over to my seat with his hands around my neck firmly; not enough to choke but enough to scare me silly and shut me up.

"Why don't you listen? Huh? Why don't you listen and why don't you ever shut the fuck up!" 

When I don't answer he releases his hands around my neck and brings his right hand up to back hand me hard enough for my face to turn.

"Ow. Please don't hit me." I say, as if I'm sort of wimp.

"Answer my question before I leave you here to find your own way back to your room."

"I wanted to see what you were doing." I finally respond, raising my hand to cover the pulsating pain that erupted in my cheek. He stares at me blankly. He doesn't even look upset that he nearly took my head off with that slap.

"It's your fault that man died. Remember that." He says with no emotion before he continues the drive.

When we reach our campus he gets out of the car and heads upstairs leaving me behind. 

I'm desperate to tell Niall all that went on today, but I'm sure he's still mad at me, and I should be mad at him too.

"You alright?" Liam asks as he enters my room without knocking.

"Yes." I say with teary eyes. I hate myself for being so emotional all the time. I try to cover my cheek with my hand but its too late because he's running towards me and pulling my hand away from my face to examine the area.

"Who hit you?!" He yells in a whisper.

"No one- I mean, no one that you know. It's not important." I back track and shut myself up before I'm asked more questions.

"Did Harry-"

"Did Harry what?" I hear a voice ask from the doorway. Of course Harry has to make his way here, just at the right time too.

"Can you both leave?" I whisper.

"Don't speak to me like that!" Harry yells and we both give him bulging eye looks.

"He didn't speak to you in any way, Harry." Liam tries to settle Harry down but it only fires him up more.

"How about you mind your fucking business. I wasn't speaking to you and he doesn't need your help." He says calmly, but there's an edge in his tone that I don't like.

Liam looks scared of Harry but he doesn't look like he plans on leaving. Instead, he walks over to Harry and gets in his face. Harry automatically assumes it's a threat and gets a little closer in Liam's face.

"Step the fuck back." Harry exploded grabbing Liam by the red collar of his shirt and shoving him backwards two feet.

"What the hell is going on?" Zayn says walking into the room and coming to a stop right in front of Harry and Liam. I lower my head in shame, this is all my fault.

"Nothing. Nothing that concerns anyone but Louis and I. Now leave." Harry states in a bitter tone. Liam takes this opportunity to leave the room; Zayn gives Harry one more look before following Liam out.

"Why are you so mean?" I cry out, I was beyond embarrassed that this had to even get that far.

"I'm not trying to be mean; I'm trying to discipline you." He tries to soothe me.

"Discipline? Are we dating or am I your child?" I snap.

"Don't be silly. You act a bit stupid sometimes and I'm just trying to knock some sense into you."

Ouch.

"You really have a way with words, incase I haven't told you yet." I snarl. He shakes his head and smiles lightly.

"I suck at saying sorry." He finally admits. "I'm sorry for today. I was only protecting you, or trying to, at least." He finishes.

I decide to leave that conversation at that, I really didn't want to discuss it any further. 

"My last boyfriend-" I start, but I can already feel the pain of my previous relationship crashing back to me at the mention of it.

"What about him?" He asks slowly.

"He used to be really mean. Like, just extremely cruel. And it took me a while to find the courage to date again- so please, please don't hurt me; because I don't think I'll be able to pick myself up again."

He looks at me with his eyebrows frowned and his lips pouted, searching my face for something I wasn't quite sure of.

"Louis. I killed someone today, for you. And I would do it again, baby; in a heart beat. I will never break your heart-"

"What are these?" I cut him off, placing my fingers over the rough scars that covered his forearm. Instead of pulling back from me he let me examine them, with his eyes glued to my face; just waiting for me to freak out and run. The scars that indicated he felt pain so powerful, words weren't enough to release his feelings, and that he had to take it out on himself.

I begin placing soft kisses from his fingers to his wrists, to the sealed cuts on his arms to his chest and finally his lips.

As soon as our lips touch his tongue enters my mouth. We explore each other for what seemed like hours, and I swear I have never felt so connected with someone before.

"Come here." He breathes pulling me under him and climbing in between my legs before reaching inside my sweats and pumping my cock at a pace I couldn't keep up with.

"Fuck Harry." I whisper. He lets go and begins pumping his own member, I reach in my drawer and hand him the lube, assuming we might get a little further than previously.

He smiles at me and pours some onto his fingers. He climbs back up my body and begins to kiss me once again, he uses his free hand to lift my leg over his waist and in no time, his fingers are at my entrance.

"I'm scared."

"I told you already, I'll take care of you." He smiles before slipping a finger slowly into me. 

Gosh, this is not how I thought it would feel.

"Hurts?" He asks.

"No, just feels weird."

"You're going to take me so well." I smirks.

He slips in two more fingers and begins pumping them at a faster speed inside of me. Suddenly he has me gasping and moaning for more, for him.

He pulls his fingers out of me and moans when his cock is at my hole. 

"Kiss me." He whispers as he pushes in slowly, trying to distract me from the pain that ripped through me. So I did. I reach around him and grab his ass to push him forward and he smiles at me, realizing that I'm in no more pain.

Harry grabs my two hands in only one of his before lifting them over my head and holding them in place as he pounds into me, moaning and cursing every word he could think of into the air.

"Fucking take me, Louis." He breathed loudly. Seeing him like this was something I'd never get used to. 

He pulls out for a moment, and I give him a confused look before he turns me on my side, lifting my leg up as he lies behind me, and enters me once again. In this new position he's hitting a spot I didn't know I had, and that I'd never find on my own.

"Harry- fuck. So good." I pant breathlessly. He moaning sweet nothings into my ear, and going so deep I can hear and feel his balls clapping against my ass. 

My heart begins beating faster, I feel my cock twitch and I moan impossibly louder, I don't know what's happening but Harry sure does when his large hand reaches around us as he begins jerking my cock along with his thrusts.

"I can't. Harry- fuck!" I yell and begin spurting cum onto his hands and my bed sheets all at once.

He goes for a few more minutes before he turns around and collapses besides me.

"Did- did you get to cum, too?" I awkwardly ask him.

"Louis, I busted a nut in you 5 minutes after we started, you took too fucking long." He laughed.

"I think I love you." I blurt out. I don't regret it though, I really do think I do.

"Good dick game will make you think you love anyone." He jokes once again, but I stay silent. "That was a joke.." He says, no longer wearing the smile that he wore only seconds ago.

"I know. But, is that all you have to say? I told you I love you and you make a sex joke?"

"I-" his phone cuts him off, the conversation lasts less than 30 seconds but his whole mood changed, I can tell. 

"I have to go." He says before standing on his feet, grabbing my towel to wear around his waist, and leaving me here to question the choice I made not even an hour ago.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again thanks for everyone leaving comments and kudos (and for bookmarking it!) I love you guys.
> 
> How was the smut? I feel like I'm going to make it get a little dirtier each sex scene hahaha. Anyway, I'm still not completely sure about the Harry POV, still thinking about it.
> 
> I know the chapters can be a little short but I really suck at long chapters (I feel like I drag it on and make it boring) which is why I just try to update a lot, but I will try to write longer chapters for you all!
> 
> Comment and tell me what you thinK and I just might update a little sooner (:
> 
> (My notes will never be this long again)


	9. No Filter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I haven't updated in a while but thank you all for understanding, I'm feeling much better now.

**Louis' POV**

The week seemed to pass slowly, Friday couldn't come soon enough. I was ready to be finished with classes and lie in bed and watch Netflix, with Harry preferably. My minds snaps back to reality as I sit in my philosophy class and my phone lights up with a text message.

"Where are you?" My text reads. I huff in annoyance as Harry texts me for the fifth time today within a three hour period.

"I told you already, I'm in class." I respond quickly.

"Oh yeah. Okay. See you when you get back then x." He writes. I roll my eyes and put my phone away.

It's weird to me that someone so distant could be so clingy, the worst traits a person could have and Harry ironically had them both.

It's 4:15 when class ends and we hand in our assignments then begin to leave the class.

"Hey- hey, Louis!" I hear someone call behind me. I look back to see one of the guys in my class, he had a look to die for. His honey brown eyes were opened wide, he had blonde hair and kept it out of his face with what seemed like any old cloth or old clothing. He was tall and just sexy and-

"Hi." I finally reply back, catching myself just staring.

"Um, I was just wondering, maybe you wanna get coffee with me soon? Or tea, if you don't like coffee, or dinner? I mean- whatever you want? Sorry-"

"Yes." I reply back with a slight giggle. "Coffee or tea or dinner sounds like fun." I mock him innocently.

"Okay, great." He says with red cheeks, obviously embarrassed from his stuttering only moments before. How someone so good looking could be so shy was beyond me.

"Think I could have your number, then? You know, so we could discuss- um- things?" He says with a chuckle scratching the top of his head.

"I'm James by the way- I don't think I ever formally introduced myself." He continues with a small smile.

"Louis." I say to him holding out my hand for him shake, and he does. 

"I know." He smiles.

"Louis." I hear someone sternly yell from behind and I don't need to even turn around to confirm that it's a very angry Harry.

I quickly give James my number written on a small piece of paper before turning around and walking towards a furious Harry.

"What the fuck was that?" He asks as he begins walking off before I can catch up.

"So I can't have frien-"

"No." He cuts me off with a quickness as he comes to a complete stop turning to me before adding, "and watch your tone."

"Sorry. Jeez." I laugh. I was way too used to his attitude, too soon.

"So.. My parents are coming to campus tonight, along with Niall's dad to spend the day; maybe you can meet them, I think they'd like to meet all of you." I sing enthusiastically. I was ecstatic my parents were coming. We were closer than any family I knew.

"You and Niall related or something?"

"No.. Niall lived with us for a while, his mother died when he was 10, his dad was pretty heavy on drugs but he's getting better. Hey, you didn't answer my question."

"You didn't ask me a question. You told me your parents were coming." He states carelessly. I roll my eyes harshly at him, he knows exactly what I meant.

"Do you want to meet my parents, Harry?" I ask him.

"Nah." He says casually with no hint of amusement as we finally get to our suite.

I walk past him pretending not to hear him and head straight to Niall's room to see him cleaning up any proof of underage drinking he had in there.

"Still mad at me?" I ask with a soft smile. I haven't spoke to him since the argument we had, it's the longest we've went without speaking.

"Course not. Now help me clean." He laughs, throwing a garbage bag in my direction and motioning me to start collecting trash.

After 2 dreadful hours of cleaning I look at myself in the mirror and make sure I'm ready to see my parents.

"Lou! The door's knocking! I think it's your parents!" Liam yells from the kitchen; I was so grateful he volunteered to cook, I was so shit at anything other than putting cereal into a bowl, and even then I managed to spill the milk every single time.

"Louis!" My mom yells as I open the door. I pull my parents into tight hugs before letting them in, along with Niall's dad after greeting him.

My parents and Niall's dad meets all but Harry, who kept himself locked in his room; I wasn't about to complain, I think I would rather he not meet them anyway.

"Dinner is ready, come eat!" Liam smiles from the kitchen. 

As we all take our seats, I see Harry stroll into the kitchen. He's wearing a white t shirt, blue jeans and- fuck, he looks so good.

"Hello, Mr. And Mrs. Tomlinson and Mr. Horan; I'm Harry." He shocks me with how nice he's being and I watch as they all seem to instantly fall in love with his charm. He takes a walk around the table before sitting right next to me. He doesn't greet me, but I don't mind; as long as he's nice to my parents.

"So Louis, how's school? How're classes, any guys you're interested in?" My mom wastes no time to start interrogating me.

"Good. Great. And um- no." I say in a low voice, even though I'm sure everyone can hear me.

Harry chuckles from beside me but says nothing else.

"Well that's good, I'm sure someone will come around soon." She smiles.

"Thanks mom."

"Wait, am I missing something? I thought you and Harry were dat-" Zayn begins before Niall slaps him under the table; I can only tell because Zayn crouches over in pain before glaring at Niall.

"Yeah Louis, I thought we were dating." Harry whispers so only I can hear. I can tell by the look in his eyes that he's hurt, but he covers it up with an angry scowl on his face.

My mom looks between all of us, clearly confused before turning her gaze to me, in question.

"Well, Harry and I are seeing each other, not exactly dating yet."

"And here you have me fooled, I thought we were dating the entire time, my mistake, I thought we were for sure official after you let me fuck you." He snarled loudly before standing up and walking back to his room.

The entire room is quiet and I feel myself shrink. I avoid gazes from my parents and Niall's dad- even Niall is staring at me in disbelief.

"So.. Dinner is quite good."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THE ENDING THOUGH lmao. Thank you for reading and don't forget to leave comments and kudos please bc I love reading/seeing it, and I'll update much more! (:


	10. Truth or Dare

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy!

**Louis POV**

 

 

I was more than lucky that Niall wasn't upset with me. I needed someone to cry on. I couldn't believe Harry would say such a thing in front of my parents, yes I know; I should've told them we were dating but he was way out of line.

A knock on the door for the third time shook me out of my dreadful thoughts and flashback.

"He doesn't wanna talk, Harry." Niall says loud enough for Harry to hear as he continues to comb my hair with his fingers.

"Louis come speak with me privately, enough of this immature nonsense." He says behind the door, completely ignoring Niall's plead to go away.

"Oh, I'm immature now? Your bitch fit wasn't a tad bit immature, Harry?" I snap loudly.

He stays quiet for a few seconds, I can't tell if he's thinking of what to say, or if he's trying to calm himself down.

"Tone." He says in a flat voice.

"Fuck you." I yell.

"Ok, Louis." And with that, I hear footsteps decrease in sound, and I'm sure he's finally gone.

I wake up in Niall's bed and he's no longer beside me. I jump up hoping I haven't slept too long.

"Midnight. An hour fucking nap." I mumble to myself as I stand to my feet and leave the room.

No one is home it seems, there's a note on the table that's reads, 'out with boysss' that Niall left.

I walk to Harry's door, knowing for sure he's not with the guys.

"Can I come in?" I ask knocking lightly.

"No." He says within seconds.

"Stop being a freaking baby." I whine to him, ironically.

He opens the door even faster and he's in my face.

"What's with your attitude? It's cute on you but it's starting to piss me off." He sighs.

"Sorry." I whisper before pulling him into a tight hug. My heart warms as I feel his arms wrap around me as well.

"I love you." I whisper. "And it scares me; because you're dangerous and emotionless." I continue honestly.

"I know." Is all he replies with. "You know that I would never let anything happen to you right? Like, if it was between your life and mine, I would make sure you're kept safe, without any care of consequences held to me."

So that's his way of saying three simple words? I'll take it.. For now.

"I care about you, Louis. And that- well, that scares me." He speaks up once again, still holding me tight in a hug.

If didn't take long for Harry to fall asleep after that, he must've been exhausted. I lied on his bed next to him, wide awake from the nap I took not too long ago.

"Louis?" Niall whispers, peaking his head in through Harry's door. I walk out to greet him.

"We need to talk." He says, the expression on his face tells me it won't be a good one.

"So.. We went to a bar." He slurs, as if it wasn't already obvious.

"And?" I ask, waving him along to continue.

"And I met Harry's ex boyfriend. We were talking about college and he's like 'ex goes there' and I'm like 'no way! Maybe I know him' and he's like 'nah probably not' and I'm like-"

"Get on with it, Niall!" I stubbornly yell.

 

"Okay okay, jeez. Long story short he got Harry locked up for 6 months because Harry paralyzed him. It was 5 years ago, it took him 5 years to walk again, Louis. You need to stop seeing Harry."

"He paralyzed him?" I repeat, a little dumbfounded if I'm honest.

"Yeah, he became very abusive a little while into their relationship. I'm warning you, stop seeing him." He says before stumbling off into his room.

Zayn emerges from his room 10 minutes later with a huge bottle of liquor. Let's drink, guys, I didn't drink enough at the bar. Truth or dare once we're drunk come on boys! Niall runs out of his room, clearly too drunk to participate but that doesn't stop him from grabbing a cup and taking a seat with me, Zayn, and Liam.

An hour into drinking I feel like I've drank more than all three of them.

"Truth or dare, then!" Liam exclaimed loudly.

"Dare!" Niall yells.

"Dare you to go in Harry's room and bang pots next to his face." Liam says before laughing hysterically.

"Fuck no! Something else!" Niall laughs as well.

I pay no attention to the game and they take turns until I hear my name called.

"Dare" I smirk, ready to do whatever it is they would make me.

"Dare you to go in the closet with Liam for a half an hour." Zayn says with a grin, winking at Liam who returns the grin instead with a stern face and an embarrassed look after.

"Well, come on, then." I say. I don't know what sneaky shit they're up to but Liam better keep his hands to himself.

Liam enters behind me and closes the door, locking it from the inside and we just awkwardly stare at each other.

"So." He giggles with a soft smile.

"Soooo." I mock him with a laugh.

"Well, you know why they did this right?" He asks.

"Before they're silly assholes?" I laugh.

"No." He laughs along with me. "Well yes, but it's actually because, I like you." He whispers before looking down and staying that way.

"Oh." Is all I can mutter. I can't believe this, I should've known.

"If you just let me show you that I can be better than Harry-" he cuts himself off by placing his hands on the insides of my thigh and drawing small patterns there. 

I almost let out a moan, how did he know I like to be touched there?

"I don't know, Liam. It's a bad idea. I'm with Harry." I try to reason but he shakes his head refusing to listen.

"Let me show you, and if after this is over, you decide that you don't want to give it a try, I understand." He says placing his free hand on my cheek.

I nod my head and I have no clue why I decided to agree with this.

He pulls my face closer and I feel my lips on his in seconds. He slides his tongue into my mouth and I give him access without hesitation. His hand is already placed over my covered cock and I feel him squeezing me time after time again, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't getting hard.

"Like that, Lou?" He moaned into my mouth. I moaned quietly in response, completely aware that Harry was sleeping a few rooms away.

"I can make you feel better than Harry can." He smirks, unbuttoning my pants and bringing them to my knees along with my boxers.

I feel Liam's lips wrap tightly around my cock, I can feel his tongue swirling around the head and I feel like I might cum already.

"Fuck." I whisper. Liam only looks up at me and smiles with a mouthful of me.

I feel his fingers on my ass and they feel moist, I can't wrap my mind around when he would have been able to soak his fingers in lube, but that didn't matter once his fingers entered me slowly pumping in and out at a fast pace as he continued to suck my dick.

I felt my legs begin to shake and my eyes close shut as I feel myself build up.

"Coming coming coming." I warn him but he keeps on sucking and he's swallowing every last drop of my cum.

"30 minutes up!" Zayn says.

"So just think about what I said before okay?" Liam randomly speaks up after helping me get my shit together.

"Okay." I finally breathe before we both make our way back to the other guys.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How was it? Liam about to get his ass beat or nah? Please don't forget to leave comments and kudos! Not gonna lie when I don't get them I feel like no one is enjoying the story and I just eventually delete it lmao. I just get really nervous that people stop enjoying the story lol. Expect another update sooner than later (:


	11. Give me Love or Give Me Death.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter ripped my soul apart. Enjoy!

**Louis' POV**

 

 

"Morning." A deep voice wakes me up with a soothing push to my shoulder. "Wake up, Louis." He continues.

"Nooo." I groan with a tired voice. I finally peel my eyes open face to face with the wall on the side of Harry's bed before turning my body to look at him.

He's already smiling at me when I look up at him and guilt finds its way into my body as a reminder that I technically cheated yesterday.

"You okay?" He asks in a soft tone.

"Yeah, it's just.. You're perfect that's all." I whisper.

"Stop being corny." He smiles widely before leaning in to kiss me but I stop him half way-

"I have morning breathe." I say quickly.

"Yesterday you tell me you love me now you don't want to kiss me because you have morning breathe?" He asks giving me a confused look and placing his hands on his hips.

"Yeah, I- I've always hated the idea of mouth to mouth before anyone's brushed their teeth, it's gross." I laugh and try to act a little more normal than I have been, to wipe the suspicious look off of his face.

"Whatever." He laughs before leaving the room and entering the kitchen where I followed right behind him.

"Morning people! I'm making breakfast!" Liam says loudly, "morning, Louis" he smiles even wider.

"Morning" I reply back, looking down at the table and sitting next to Harry who's already looking back at me with a weird look on his face.

"What's wrong, babe?" I whisper.

"Nothing." He replies back, though the look on his face remains. 

We all set our own plates and we begin having a chat about nothing to be honest.

"Last night was fun." Liam beams.

"Bet it was." Zayn smirks.

Way to be nonchalant, boys.

"What happened last night?" Harry asks curiously.

"We went to the bar." Niall quickly chimes in. "Louis didn't though, don't worry."

Oh no. Liam must've told the boys. Everyone's acting so shady.

"Ok?" Harry replied and stayed silent the remainder of breakfast until he was finished eating.

"Liam must be feeling like he's on top of the world today." Niall laughs. Then looks at Liam, who then glances at me and I quickly look away from them both, down at my food then to Harry who's holding an angry look at me then to the other boys.

"Alright. What the fuck is the big joke?" Harry roars through the apartment.

Oh fuck.

"Nothing!" I quickly state.

"Calm down, Harry. Nothing's going on here, you think too much." Zayn calmly speaks, but Harry isn't listening.

"Where did you get your hickey from?" Harry speaks up again, in a deadly tone that gave me chills, only he wasn't speaking to me, he was speaking to Liam.

Liam looks to me and I quickly shake my head no, praying to God he wasn't stupid enough to answer that question. Harry was paranoid, that was for sure but this time it was for a reason, and I will kill Liam myself if he gives our secret away.

"Girl at the bar." Liam answers.

Harry's angry looks calms and he laughs.

"Oh okay." He continues laughing. "I thought for a minute- never mind." He shakes his head and walks back to his room.

I roll my eyes at all of them and begin to walk to my room before Liam stops me.

"I'm sorry, Louis! I had no idea the guys would act like that today." He says grasping my body in his arms.

"It's fine, Liam."

"Good, baby. I don't want you to be mad at me." He whispers against my lips before giving me a full kiss.

"I'm not mad, Liam." I smile placing my arms back around him and giving him another kiss to his lips.

"So I wasn't imagining you two hooking up." Harry mumbles with a look on his face I couldn't quite make out, his body leaned against the side of his door frame while he kept his hands behind his back.

"Oh my god, Harry-"

"All day you all have been playing me as a fool." He groaned rubbing his face with his hand.

"It's not like that-" 

"So you guys weren't hooking up?" He cuts me off.

I look to my right to see Zayn and Niall sliding out of the front door, clearly wanting no part of this, I understand why.

"We did. Once." I honestly reply.

"But Harry, with all due respect-" Liam starts.

"Shut up!" He yelled. My eyes widen as I watch him pull out a gun.

"No Harry!" I pant, I start to feel light headed but Liam's grasp is keeping me up.

Harry empties the gun and I see 7 bullets hit the ground.

"There's still one in the gun in you're wondering." He smirks. I look into his eyes and this doesn't seem like the same man I expressed my love for so quickly, this isn't Harry.

"Harry, I won't allow you do this-" Liam tries to reason but Harry won't have any of it.

"You won't allow what exactly you fucking bitch? What won't you allow? I don't think I allowed you to try and fuck my boyfriend but you tried didn't you? You boys like taking chances do you? Fine. Me too. We'll play Russian roulette." He says with tears in his eyes but he manages a smirk.

"You're absolutely mad, Harry." Liam states and Harry just nods his head.

"Yeah.. I am." Before placing the gun to his head and pulling the trigger.

"No!" I scream until I realize I didn't hear the actual bullet.

"Your turn." Harry says to Liam.

"No." Liam says with a shaky voice, Harry rolls his eyes and holds the gun to Liam's head himself, and again I hear the same click that I heard the first time and it's just as scary as the last.

"You too, Louis." Harry whispers and there's tears falling from his eyes now.

"Leave." He says to Liam.

"Harry-"

"LEAVE." He scarily snapped.

Liam looked at me and I nodded my head, he repeatedly shook it no until I finally sternly told him to leave Harry and I.

"I hate you." Harry says leaning against his window. 

"I know-" I defeatedly reply. "I'm so sorry, Harry."

"Only sorry you got caught aren't you?" He assumed. "The game isn't over, you know."

"I'm not holding a gun to my own head, Harry."

"Yes you will! And you will pull the fucking trigger and God willing the bullet will fucking go right through your cheating head!" Harry yells and by now he's full on crying and I'm not sure how to calm him down, I can't even calm myself down.

"Please Harry. No. Don't make me do this." I continue to say but he just shakes his head no every time and hands me the gun.

With a shaky arm I take the heavy gun in my hand, the grip of it is hot from Harry's tight hold on it only moments ago. I close my eyes before raising it up until I feel it's eye level with me. Harry is completely silent, all I can hear is his heavy breathing.

"Pull. The. Trigger." He whispers. 

And so I pull it. I open my eyes once I'm finished, a smile plastered on my face happy that I didn't get hit. I look to Harry and his expression is opposite mine. His eyes are opened and just as wide as his mouth as he stands there in shock. There's tears falling from his eyes and he's yelling, yet I can't understand why I can't hear him. It's not until I feel myself choking on my own blood that I realize I've been shot. The red droplets that pour it's way on my shirt are indications that this is no dream even though it sure feels that way. Everything around me is slowing down, I'm not sure if I'm dying- but this would be a painful way to go, eye to eye with man that I love and the man that has caused me death-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How sad!??! Do you understand the drama that will follow!??
> 
> Okay so keep in mind Louis is like, the main character so don't go all crazy on me.
> 
> Thank you for the amazing feedback, the comments are hilarious and I love reading them! 
> 
> Definitely need your feedback on this chapter!! Ahhsndnshaks can't believe that just happened.
> 
> So like, I'll probably update sooner than later again. (:


	12. Secrets and Truths

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I couldn't update yesterday I was sooo tired.

**Louis' POV**

*two weeks later*

I wasn't sure how long I've been asleep. Or as the doctors keep saying, "in a coma". But I figured it must've been a long time because my parents won't stop crying. Everything's a blur right now, everything hurts in my body but I feel nothing at the same time.

"Okay, I would like to speak with Louis alone for a few minutes if that's okay." A stranger says to my parents. I start to shake my head in protest until I notice the uniform he's wearing, he must be my doctor. My parents do as they're told and exit the room with their eyes never leaving mine.

"Okay Louis. I'm sure you're very confused. You were shot two weeks ago. The police are still investigating the scene, your friend actually found you in the alley way on his way to class on campus and brought you here immediately, Harry Styles his name is. Does any of this sound familiar to you?"

What the fuck? No this doesn't sound familiar.

"Y-yes." I choke out as much as my voice and throat would let me.

"Good. We're going to keep you here a few days then send you home, we'll send you home to rest until you're ready to go back to school, Louis. I'm glad you're doing well, now Harry is here to see you." He says with a smile before leaving the room. 

I squint my eyes to see between the blinds of my door to see my mom hugging Harry and my dad placing a firm grip on his shoulder as if he's thanking him. I can not believe they fucking believe him. Moments later the door opens and Harry is walking in with a large sweater and jeans, his eyes are dark as if he has been crying all day.

"You have some nerve-"

"Louis. Before you say anything, I am so sorry. I didn't mean for that to happen. I snapped, I'm sorry."

"You're sorry? I could've died and you're sorry?"

"Let's just be happy you missed your head and caught the side of your throat instead." He says with a chuckle and stops as soon as he sees I don't find it funny at all.

"Liam won't allow you to lie about this, he was there-"

"He won't say a word, babe. I made sure of it."

"Oh my God, Harry! What did you do to him?"

"Nothing! Well, I threatened him. But don't worry-"

"You're crazy. You're a psychopath and I want nothing to do with you."

The smile once on his face fades for good and I watch as his lips straighten into a thin line.

"So that's how you feel?" He asks in a flat tone.

I stay silent.

"Your parents and I were just speaking. They agree that it's better if I take you to my home while you get better, they agree it's a bad idea to take you so far away from campus when I live so close, it's better you stay with me, babe."

"No." I cry. "I want to go home, Harry. Please tell my parents I want to go home with them."

"No." He says placing a soft hand to my face and staring at me in awe.

He stays at the hospital day and night only going home to shower, get clothes and bring us food from his house. He stays regardless of me ignoring him the entire time and something in my heart warms at the idea of him being here with me.

"Good afternoon, Louis! Hello, Harry." My doctor greets us both. "Here are your discharge papers, you're doing much better than I thought, it's amazing actually. You should rest at home for another week and then after one more checkup, I think you'll be find to head back to campus and continue your studies." He finishes.

"Finally." I smile widely. I was feeling much better than when I first got here. 

Harry grabs our stuff and guides me into the wheelchair to take me to his car.

"Still mad?" He asks as we exit the hospital into the parking lot.

"Yes." I mumble. He just nods his head in annoyance.

"Nothing a blow job won't fix." He jokes, I cringe and think about slapping him before just shaking my head and staying quiet.

He holds my hand the entire drive to his house, it's not until now I realize I don't know much about this man I was going home with. 

"Do you live alone?" I ask.

"No. Do you think I'd dorm if I lived alone?" He laughed.

"That's true." I reply, finding myself giggling at my stupid question.

"I live with my parents." He says randomly.

"Oh." Is all I reply when I notice he's back to being a straight faced prick.

We arrive to a huge home with fancy gating all around the property, no way this was his home.

"You have a beautiful home, Harry." 

"Why thank you, Louis." He laughs. 

His parents are waiting at the front door when we pull up.

"Harry!" A woman I assume is his mother yells to him. "I've missed you!" She smiles before wrapping her arms around him as he leaves his at his sides.

"You must be Louis! Harry has told me-"

"He's tired, mom." Harry cuts in.

"Hi, Mrs. Styles. Pleasure to meet you." I smile. I'm eager to know what exactly Harry has told her about me, and when he had the time to say it since he never calls her.

Harry brings me upstairs and we pass every guest room before we go into his room.

I immediately lie down on the firm bed with comfy off white blankets covering it. He lies down next to me, carefully guiding my head onto his shoulder.

"You're being oddly nice to me, lately." I whisper to him.

"Yeah, well, I made a stupid mistake. I realized at that moment what it would feel like if were to lose you. I don't ever want to lose you, Louis." 

This should've made me feel good, but it didn't. It made me feel trapped in a way.

"Dinner is ready!" His mom says in the door way with a large smile.

"Okay. How about you knock next time, we could have been fucking or something." Harry snarls.

"Watch your mouth, Harry! Now come eat." She says through gritted teeth. She's beautiful, really. But she looks mentally exhausted, I would be too if I dealt with Harry for so many years.

"How are classes, Harry?" His dad asks when we are all at the dinner table, but Harry ignores him.

"Have you been taking your medi-"

"Will you shut the fuck up?" Harry cuts him off with a quickness. I widen my eyes along with his parents. It shocks me that they stay quiet after that. Why exactly is he trying to hide so much from me?

It's midnight and Harry is already sleeping as I lie there bored next to him. There's a soft knock at the door and his mom peeks her head in.

"Oh, Louis." She smiles. "Is Harry sleeping?"

"Yes."

"Why don't you come have some tea with me." She asks with a smile.

We both head downstairs before sitting on the couch with one large blanket as she tells me more funny stories about Harry, the air is much lighter now that he isn't around to act like an angry brat.

"So Louis, I have an important question to ask you, and I need you to be honest with me." She asks with a worried look that she tries to cover up with a grin.

"Is Harry abusive? Does he treat you well? Is he cutting again? Is he doing-"

"Woah, um- I'm confused." I stutter, she completely caught me off guard with all these questions.

"I'm sorry- it's just- he told me you knew about his condition so I figured you'd know a thing or two about it.."

"Condition?" I ask hesitantly.

"Borderline personality disorder- he didn't tell you, did he?" She frowns. "Oh my, I didn't want to be the one to tell you. He promised me he would!"

"He didn't.." 

"How about you get some rest- I've worried you enough tonight." She tiredly smiles before walking towards the stairs.

"Goodnight." I smile, though my mind is running wild.

"Oh and Louis?"

"Yes?"

"My baby isn't a bad person. He's just.. Misguided. You seem like the best thing that's ever happened to him. Please give him time to change if you truly love him, but do not allow time with him to change you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again for bookmarking, leaving comments and kudos! It means a lot. Tell me how you liked the chapter (: I'll try to get another update posted before Sunday!


	13. Toxic

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> School and work are kicking my ass. Sorry for the long (not long at all) wait! Enjoy!
> 
> (Kind of proofread but not really so sorry for any typos)

**Louis POV**

"Wakey wakey." I hear someone whisper from below me. I open my eyes to see Harry pressing soft kisses from my neck to my hips.

"Still mad?" He asks with his fingers wrapped around my boxers, ready to pull them down any moment.

"Yes." I smile eagerly, knowing he'll give me what we both want any minute now.

"Good." He grunts and begins pulling them down before my hands quickly stop them.

He gives me an exaggerated annoyed look before whining.

"What now?"

"You're not being honest with me." I whisper.

He seems taken back by my seriousness, "What do you mean?"

"I mean exactly what it sounds like." I snap.

"There's a reason I don't date women you know, and you're acting exactly like one." He sarcastically mumbled but I just rolled my eyes, not wanting to make the rest of this trip sour for him and his family.

I drag myself out of bed and head to the bathroom to shower, on my way there, I see plenty of family portraits plastered on the wall, all in which the family seemed happy. There was one girl in all of the pictures, all up until the last three. She looked to be a little older than Harry, perhaps his sister? I can't think of a good enough reason that he wouldn't tell me had one though.

"Good morning." I smile to everyone at the table once I've showered and dressed.

"Morning." They reply, all except Harry.

"I noticed a few photos on the wall, they're all lovely. Who's the girl that's in most of them?" I ask, my mind not willing to rest until I know who the mystery girl is.

"That's our daughter." Anne answers with what seemed like a strained smile.

"Oh." Is all I reply, not wanting to ask what happened with her and why she wasn't in the rest of the photos.

"She killed herself if you're wondering, which you probably are." Harry says in a monotone voice causing me to turn my head to him.

His mom looks at her husband before putting her head down and taking a deep breath.

"I'm so sorry to hear that- really I am- I shouldn't have asked-" I try to console then but it's no use.

"It's fine, really." She lies.

"Yeah it's fine, Louis. They are really good at acting like she never existed." Harry snaps before leaving the kitchen and heading back upstairs. I immediately run after him to his room.

"I want to go back to the dorms." I say once we're in his room again. "Today. I want to leave." I finish.

"Why?"

"You're making this more than awkward for me. You're disrespecting your parents and I have to hear from them, things that you should've told me when we met. You can stay if you'd like, I'm fucking leaving." I rush out, beginning to feel my heart pump much faster than my body can handle. Fuck- I haven't had a panic attack in years. Harry seems to notice my distress and begins to rub my back and calm me down.

"We'll leave as soon as we're all packed, okay?" He whispers as he holds me in his arms tightly.

I waste no time to pack my stuff and place them in the car giving Anne and her husband huge hugs for letting me stay here for the past few days and being so kind.

"You give me a call if Harry acts up." She smiles. I smile back even though we both know calling her would do no good.

The ride back home is as usual- silent.

"So.." I say looking over at Harry.

"I hate when you do that. 'Soooo'." He mocks. 

"Well you're being boring and quiet so..." I whisper with a laugh.

He looks at me with a huge smile and grabs my hand placing his fingers between mine- I swear I love this feeling. I love when he's nice.

"I can't wait to see the boys, I've missed them."

"Yeah."

"Ew. Attitude?" I reply back rudely. 

"No, it's just.. I don't know why you like them so much if they don't even like me." He says with his eyes on the road.

"Are you trying to say I can't be friends with them anymore?"

"I'm saying, if I had friends who didn't like you, I would make them like you or I wouldn't be friends with them. What if they tried to get you to break up with me? Or like, what if Liam tries to peruse you again- I would have to kill him and-"

"Harry. Calm down, babe. I'm not leaving you-"

"You've already cheated." He whispers and the tears that are running down his cheeks are prominent.

"And I'm sorry. I know sorry isn't enough but I am. I love you."

"I love you too." He sighs wiping the rest of his tears.

We finally arrive back to campus and we check ourselves back in, after a thousand questions and me trying to get my story right, we enter our suite.

"Louis!" Niall yells from the couch before running over to me and lifting me up in a hug.

"Easyyy." I laugh hugging him back.

"Glad to see you're doing well." Zayn smiles giving me a hug as soon as Niall releases me.

Harry stands there before grabbing our things and walking to his room.

"Liam told me what happened." Niall whispered. "Why are you still with the enemy?" He continued.

"Stop." I sternly tell him.

"Well, that's okay because Zayn is already having it handled." He smiles proudly.

"And just what the fuck does that mean?" I angrily snap in a whisper.

"It means, it's handled." Zayn replies for Niall.

"Please don't start with Harry. Please." I reason.

"You think I'm afraid of him? You think he's the only one running shit where he's from?" Zayn says calmly. "I am helping you, trust me." He says with an encouraging smile before he walks off into his room, "glad you're okay." He says over his shoulder.

I ignore his threat and push it to the back of my mine, everyone suddenly seems to have an opinion of what they think is good or bad for me.

I walk into Harry's room to see him reading a book while sitting a chair by his window. I walk over to him, taking the book out of his hands and sitting in his lap, placing my face on his shoulder.

"Hey. I was at an interesting part." He laughs placing a kiss on my cheek.

"You're such a confusing person." I whine.

"Yeah? How?" He smirks.

"One day you're happy, one day you're angry and sad, sometimes you love me, then you hate me, you wanted me dead then almost killed yourself when you thought I died- I just don't get you." I confess.

"Don't feel bad, I don't get me either. But I love you, and I would destroy anyone for you, or anyone that comes in the way of that. You are mine forever, Louis Tomlinson." His words send chills down my spine, but his extreme ways of telling me he loves me no longer scared me.

"Good. Because you are mine forever, Harry Styles."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also, thanks for the comments, kudos and for bookmarking! Keep it coming, I am loving it. Okay thanks for reading!!


	14. Traitor

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait, enjoy!

**Louis' POV**

The next few weeks at school consisted of Niall never leaving my side, students asking how it felt to get shot, and Harry spending more time with his gang than he did with me.

"Can't you stay today? Like, take the day off or whatever you call it?" I whine to Harry as he placed a leather jacket on and grabbed his belongings.

"Can't, babe. I have to stay focused." He answers quickly his eyes avoiding mine.

"Something's up. Just say it already. Why have you been avoiding me?"

"I- I'm not. I had a talk with my guys after they apparently had a talk about me. They think you're distracting me."

"Who gives a damn what they thi-"

"I DO, LOUIS! I DO BECAUSE ITS MY GANG!" He brutally yelled. I can tell he's been feeling this way for a while.

"If I'm such a distraction then why don't you just date someone in your gang then? This way you guys can go fucking kill people together! Gay version of Bonnie and Clyde, yeah? That's what you want?"

"Fuck you, asshole. And I would consider it but none of them are gay." He bit back.

Asshole.

"What did you just say to me?"

"Did you not hear?" He spat as he approached me quickly.

"You're such a dick. You just spilled your heart out to me two weeks ago and now you're saying this?" I whispered, a little hurt at his change of attitude towards me.

"It's like that sometimes."

"That's it. I'm done with you." I sternly yelled as I make my way to the door.

"Fine." Is all he says.

~

"I can not believe he said that to you. I mean, can but I can't." Niall spoke up while he played with my hair that fell onto his lap softly.

"Yeah, I mean, he's just having a bad day, that's all."

"Bad day? Jesus, Louis, you really are something else. I think you are going insane, in all honesty." Niall groans while popping his gum.

"I'm not, I promise." I say to Niall, who is really beginning to piss me off, already.

"You went from thinking he's scary as hell to thinking the shit he does is normal! I really can't believe how he's changing you."

That's it.

"He isn't changing me! I hate when you fucking say that! Stop! Just because you can't relate to our relationship doesn't mean it's abnormal!"

"Speaking of abnormal.. Let's talk about that fucking shooting game that you fucking lost!" He yells back at me.

I jump off the bed storming out of the room as quickly as possible, the further away I get from Niall, the better.

I walk into my room and sit in front of my mirror. 

"I've changed." I whisper to myself as I take in my appearance. Although, I didn't change physically, it's still hard for me to recognize the person I am staring at in the mirror. I truly don't know who I'm becoming and it scares me. I wouldn't admit that to anyone though. It's clear that Harry and I are toxic, I need to get away from him.

"Hey.. Can I come in?" I hear someone knock lightly at my door.

"Liam?" I say as I quickly rush to the door to let him in. I embrace him in a long hug; after not seeing him since that horrible night, I could use his company.

"I've missed you." He says honestly in a confident tone, though I can tell he's nervous from the way his cheeks turned a bright shade of red and the way he bit his lip to keep from smiling too wide.

"I've missed you, too." I smiled back, pulling him into my room and climbing onto my bed.  
He follows behind me and wraps his arm around my waste with no hesitation, making no other move other than making me feel safe.

"I'm scared for you, Louis." He speaks up after a few minutes of silence.

"Why?" I ask. Although I already had a general idea of why.

"What Harry did... That wasn't okay. It wasn't even normal, Louis. I swear I'm not only saying this because I like you."

"I know, I know. I've had enough of those speeches since I've been back, Liam."

"Okay.. So I won't talk about that. But I will say that I am head over heels for you. I want you to let me show you how perfect you are. I want to give you back the life that Harry sucked out of you in so little time." He quickly looks away in shame as if he's scared of what I might say next. 

"I don't know where to start, I don't know how to leave- and I don't think he'll let me.." I answer him honestly. Because it's true, more than once Harry has made it clear that I wasn't going anywhere, and I didn't want to go anywhere, but now I am truly realizing how bad this relationship was for us both.

"I won't let you go through this alone." He whispers, planting kisses softly along my neck.

"How do I break up with him- I mean, where do we start? Who do I go to for help-"

"How about we start by telling the cops what really happened the night of the shooting?"

Liam says everything I already knew that had to be done. I just didn't want to admit it to myself. Harry would hate me forever, he'd kill Liam, too. 

"This has to be done, Louis. You are losing yourself." I think to myself giving myself all the confidence I need to go through with this betrayal.

"Okay." I breathe deeply before I continue, "Well then what are we waiting for?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How was it?! It was kind of short, sorry! Any predictions for the next chapter? I'Be already started on the next chapter so I'm really excited because juicy drama haha.
> 
> Please continue to leave that good ol' feedback (:
> 
> Who's your favorite character so far?!?


	15. One Step Forward; Two Steps Back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quick chapter, enjoy!

**Louis' POV**

I stood closely next to Liam as he held tightly onto my hand, leaving no space between our fingers.

"It's going to be okay. We're just going to confirm the story once more, then we can leave." He whispers closely to me.

"Okay Mr. Tomlinson and Mr Payne? The Sheriff will see you now." 

We walk into a cold room that oddly represents just how I was feeling, sick and depressed. it was dark with one light that hung from the ceiling directly in the middle of the room. We approached the table and sat across the Sheriff who eyed us carefully, as if it was us who did something wrong.

"Your story is a little sketchy, but not unbelievable. Now I need you to understand something, you are going to have to go to court and you are going to have to face this man, are you going to be okay with that?"

"Y-yes." I finally reply after another encouraging hand squeeze from Liam, who is still sat beside me.

After filling out restraining order forms and going over court dates, we're escorted out and at the same moment I see harry walk in, but he isn't alone. He's also escorted in with two police officers that's guiding him through with his handcuffs. His head his hung low with his hair covering any bit of his face that I could've seen. It's as if he smelled me at that moment because his head shot up and his eyes locked with mine. I tried everything in my power to look away but my body wouldn't let me. I stared into his green eyes that didn't seem as lively as they usually were. They were dim as if he were crying only moments ago. Now he just looks pissed, his lips are held firmly together leaving him no other option but to breathe through his nose heavily.

I try to mouth sorry to him, I'm not quite sure why; when the cop noticed that we were in the room they walked even faster with Harry to bring him to the room for what I assume would be questioning.

I felt sick as we got into the car. I was so angry with Harry from our argument that I had betrayed him.

"Why did we do this?" I squeak. I feel my breathing increase uncontrollably and my heart begins to hurt, it feels as though I might die, but I know better; it's another panic attack.

"Calm down, Louis. It's alright, it's alright. Shhh." He whispers to me in a calming tone, almost like Harry had done back at his place. It worked.

"I'm fine. I'm just.. Shaken is all." I falsely smile. I'm grateful that he can sense I was lying, that meant he cared; but thankful when he chose not to question me further.

When we approach the suite, I instantly feel nauseous. I wouldn't be coming home to Harry, and it's my fault.

"Do you want me to stay in the suite tonight?" Liam asks in attempt to keep me company.

"No no. I'm fine, promise. But tomorrow morning since it's Sunday we can watch movies all day or something." I reply.

"Okay. Goodnight my love." He whispers pressing a kiss to my lips.

"Goodnight." I weakly smiled before walking into the apartment and walking straight to my room when I notice that everyone is sleeping.

It's as if I couldn't get in bed soon enough, this had to be one of the worst days of my life. As soon as I close my eyes in an attempt to sleep, my phone rings and nearly scares the life out of me.

I quickly answer, "Hello?"

"You have a collect call from.."

I stood on the other line, completely dumbfounded, I knew it was Harry, he didn't have to say his name for me to know it was him.

"To accept the phone call, press one. Otherwise, hang up."

I quickly dial one and I'm horrified at myself for not just hanging up and turning my phone off.

I wait a few seconds for him to say something, anything. But he doesn't.

"Hello? Harry?" I finally whisper when I realize he won't speak first.

"Why?" His voice cracks, "why, Louis?"

Now it's my turn to stay silent. I had no idea what to say to him. I shouldn't feel like it was my fault but I couldn't stop the ripping in my heart the thoughts from the back of my mind telling me it was.

"Answer me, Lou. I don't have much time."

"I- I don't know, Harry." I cry. 

"Don't cry, baby." He cooed.

"I'm sorry, Harry. I am seriously so sorry. I had no idea what I was thinking."

"Shh. Say no more. At least not over the jail phone." He laughed. It was weird, he wasn't screaming, or yelling, or angry. It was so so so weird.

"You're not mad?"

"What's being mad gonna do?" He sighed.

"Harry?" 

"Yes, babe?"

"I love-" and before I could finish the line is cut off.

"NO!" I yell to myself.

The tears begin flooding my eyes as I sob relentlessly. The pain that I have caused myself feels like it's too much of a burden to bear. 

"Calm down, Louis. Calm down. You were supposed to do this, he can't hurt me anymore." I whisper to myself in a failed attempt to calm myself down. 

I slide down my door and pull at my hair in frustration, right now I wish I would've made Liam stay with me and take my mind off of all that's been going on.

"STUPID." I yell under my breathe and repeatedly bang my head on the door behind me before I begin brutally scratching at my thighs until I feel liquid on my finger tips.

"Stupid stupid stupid." I yell once more with a bang to my head after each word.

Even without Harry here, he has the power to make me feel weak under his strength. It's then I realized why he wasn't angry over the phone, he wanted me to feel bad- well it was working.

"What the fuck are you doing in there?" Niall whispers from behind the door as he begins trying to push it open. 

"Leave me alone, please." I cry pushing my weight back against the door so he wouldn't get in.

"Stop this, Lou. Come on, please." He pleads, but I don't let him in. 

"Did you mean what you said the other day?" My raspy voice lets out, "when you said I've changed.."

"I-no- I mean, yes but it's going to be okay now." He says in a hopeful manner and I physically feel him remove pressure from the door.

"What if it's not going to be okay? Like, what if he's already damaged me?"

"Then we move forward, and you learn from this and become a stronger version of who you are now."

"No, Ni, I mean- never mind." I sigh.

"Do you miss him?" 

"More than ever." I reply honestly. We sit silently for a few minutes. None of us bothering to speak from the otherside of the door before I finally decide to speak once again, "I'm not going to leave him, you know."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Louis is killing me D:
> 
> What do you think so far?
> 
> Thanks for everyone that's been commenting and leaving kudos and for bookmarking it. If you guys want fast updates please continue to leave feedback or I'm gonna assume you're losing interest D:
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	16. Bail.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no other excuse other than I completely lost motivation. I don't know who's still going to bother reading, but if you do I love you D: it's been a long month okay. I was actually going to delete but I know the feeling of being into a story and then the author completely deletes it or never updates again.
> 
> Not a long chapter because I wanted to get a chapter out ASAP. 
> 
> *I proof read but I might need to edit at some point*

**Louis' POV**

The day's dragged by so slowly. It had only been 2 weeks but the sudden snow on the ground and the cold air signifying that it was now winter, made it seem like months passed by. 

I was grateful when I realized today was Me and Harry's court day. Liam asked and asked about the date, but I continued to lie and tell him they hadn't sent me any information about it.

"What are you doing?" Niall speaks up from the doorway, nearly scaring the shit out of me while I fix my tie.

"Um- class." I quickly respond.

"In a suit?" He creased his eyebrow inwardly, telling me he was confused through his facial expression.

"Drama class." I recover thankfully.

"Oh.. Well me and the guys are- never mind. Have fun!"

"Yeah thanks." I smile before turning away from him.

A half an hour I hear Zayn and Niall on the phone with Liam and minutes later they leave. It's at that time I call a cab and grab my checkbook before heading to the door.

"All rise, court is now in session." An officer speaks up loudly and in a mean tone if I may add.

I look to my left to see the prisoners being led with handcuffs on both their hands and feet while handcuffed to the person in front of them. I watch and watch as I wait for Harry to finally come out next and there he is. He walks out with his head held high and a smirk plastered to his face. To think prison would humble his cocky attitude. His face is as clear as ever, his arms are a little more toned it seems. Moments later his eyes lock with mine and his smile quickly fades.

"What the hell?" I mumble under my breathe.

"For the last time, case 105. Louis Tomlinson? Is there a Louis Tomlinson here?" The judge growls through clenched teeth.

I quickly stand to my wobbly feet. This day doesn't seem to be going as well as I planned already.

"Okay-" she begins but I quickly cut her off before she can even begin the case.

"I want to bail him out. I don't want to press charges on him. Please.. Just tell me how much bail is.." I say in a weak voice.

I look to Harry, waiting for his frown to change.. For him to be happy with me. I don't like him being upset with me.

"Mr. Tomlinson.. Step up please." She motions me closer to where she is.

"Are you scared of that man? Because if you are, we can throw him back in jail and you won't have to see him for a very long time.." She whispers in an almost soothing voice.

"N-no.. I just, I was mad and.. I- I just want him to come home with me, that's all."

She gives me a look that tells me she doesn't believe me but she says nothing else.

"$25,000 bail. $5,000 cash bond will be accepted upfront. Case dismissed."

I look back to Harry yet again and he's just staring at me. Like clockwork his frown forms into a small smile, and then he chuckles, blowing me a kiss before he whispers, "good boy."

The old me would be fuming, how could he just talk to me like that? Who does he think he is? But now, I was happy, I was happy that he was happy with me. That's all that mattered. It's been two hours since I bailed Harry out with the rest of my school money; waiting was making me nervous and scared at the same time.

"Babe." Someone says from behind me, the deep soothing voice that could only belong to Harry.

"Oh my god." I nearly cry out, running to him and crushing him with a long hug.

"I've missed you." He smiles. His dimples look deeper than I remembered and I just can't help but fall in love with him all over again.

He drags me to the car and sits in the drivers seat, taking the keys right from my hand, but I didn't mind.

"You have no idea what it's like in there." He speaks up after a few minutes of driving.

"Well at least you're out now." I whisper, feeling guilty all over again.

"Yeah.. I'm just upset I can't go back to campus."

"Sorry I got you arrested and kicked out." I mumble, feeling even worse.

"Not time to be sad, babe. I'm out!" He laughs. "Tell you what though, I've been quite lonely in there." He says in whisper.

"Yeah?" I reply back, knowing exactly where he meant to bring the conversation.

He reaches over and grabs my hands before yanking it over to his crotch. 

"We did this before didn't we?" I chuckle before I begin to add pressure on his dick.

"Ahhh, yeah- I believe we did." He heavily pants. "Louis. Suck my cock." He moaned deeply.

I raised my eyebrows at his demanding tone but unzip his pants anyway.

I pull him out of his jeans and bend over so my face is inches from the tip. I swipe my tongue over the tip of his cock and I feel the car jerk before he starts driving at a normal speed again.

"Don't tease, babe." He says out of breathe.

I take his cock to the back of my throat and feel him begin to rock his hips slightly.

"More." He grunts. And I obey, I take him as far as I can and use my hand for what can't fit in my mouth.

"More." He says again. "Fuck Lou."

I open my mouth wider and he grabs me by the hair pulling me up a bit and begins thrusting his hips upwards, his dick hitting the back of my throat every time, it's relentless and satisfying, even as I gag; I loved pleasing him. It's not until he comes and relaxes that I realize that he pulled over minutes ago ready.

"Give me kiss." He smiles. I bring my swollen lips to his and then lay my head on his shoulder.

"I'm so glad to have you back." I smile, looking up at him as if I hadn't seen him in years.

"And I'm glad-" the sound of my phone ringing, shocks us both, I look at the caller ID to see that Liam is calling.

"Why is Liam calling you?" He asks? His eyes darkening in moments. "Answer your phone and put it on speaker." He continues.

"H-hello?" I say into the phone, doing just as Harry asked me.

"Lou.. Where are you? I know you lied to Niall.. You don't have class today. Are you okay? You know you can talk to me about anything right? I know I'm talking a lot.. It's just- I care about you and I want you to be okay." He finally finishes.

Harry snatches the phone from my hand so fast I thought he would take one of my fingers with him, just when I thought he was going to hang up, he doesn't, "well that won't be necessary, Liam. I'm back."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sounds like drama about to happen. AND OMG ZAYN. I CANT BELIEVE HES DONE. LIKE, IT MAKES ME SO SAD. How do you guys feel about it? How do you guys feel about the story? Do you still like? Do you still want me to keep updating? A lot of questions I know haha. Well, if no one is really interested I might delete and post the new story I've started. If not I'll keep updating and post the new story too haha. Sorry for the long note. Thank you for reading!


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